The Kings Aren't Alright
DeMarcus Cousins
In the introduction to my Armchair GM's NBA Draft piece, I had to make a tough decision. I had to decide between making a "Kings are stupid" joke and a "Knicks are stupid" joke. After hours of deliberation, phone calls to friends and family, and discussions with strangers at the supermarket, it became clear to me that people at the supermarket are rude and not very helpful. In the end, I settled on making a "Kings are stupid" joke, and in the week since I published that piece the Kings have proven that I made the correct choice. There's been in-fighting between the recently hired coach and the owner with an inpronouncable last name, the drafting of a player at number six who has no chance of being one of the six best players in this draft, the signing of a point guard who was banished from his previous team only months after being acquired and has a reputation as a player with an attitude problem, and tweets with snake emojis from the star player toward the new coach. Getting excited yet, Kings fans?
Let's start with the outspoken and proven head coach, George Karl, and the outspoken and possibly insane owner, Vivek Ranadive. The Kings have been searching for a coach who gets along with DeMarcus Cousins, but since they're the Kings they fired the coach that was getting along with Cousins and brought in Karl, who has a history of clashing with every star player he's ever coached. Oh, and they put Karl in charge of managing personnel! So Karl's first goal was to trade Cousins, leading to Cousins's tweet about a snake in the grass (which is how Karl has been described by many of his star players). Ranadive then comes out and says that Cousins is untradeable and there is no way that he's going anywhere, then we hear that Ranadive is so upset with Karl that he contemplates firing him already. Let's recap: Kings fire a coach that Cousins likes, Kings hire a coach who star players don't like, new coach doesn't like Cousins and tries to trade him immediately, Cousins doesn't like new coach (because he tried to trade him immediately), owner almost fires new coach. So, basically, everything is business as usual in Sacramento.
Sixth overall pick, Willie Cauley-Stein (he's the one on the right)
As for the draft, the Kings took Willie Cauley-Stein with the sixth overall pick. Now, Cauley-Stein actually does fit in with the Kings from a skill set standpoint, but he was definitely a reach at number six. My understanding is that no one really wanted Cauley-Stein with that pick, except DeMarcus Cousins, so the Kings took Cauley-Stein to try to make up for hiring a coach who hates Cousins. The Kings screw up all their picks anyway, so why not let Cousins decide who to take? But they didn't stop there. Cousins also wanted Rajon Rondo on the team. So, of course, the Kings offer Rondo (again, a player who was a disaster on his most recent team and was told to go away) a huge, long-term deal that Rondo rejects in favor of a one-year deal, worth 9.5 million dollars. Rondo taking the one-year deal actually saves the Kings from themselves; they now get a chance to see how he fits with Cousins and Karl for a year before deciding whether or not to try to re-sign him. Although, since the Kings don't use logic when making decisions, the way Rondo plays this year probably won't have any effect on what the Kings decide to offer him next summer.
Let's re-recap: Kings fire Mike Malone (who Cousins liked), Kings hire George Karl (who doesn't like Cousins), Karl tries to trade Cousins (who now doesn't like Karl), Karl was told he has control over personnel decisions (but is overruled by Vivek Ranadive and now doesn't like the Kings), the Kings say Cousins is untradeable (and now don't like Karl for trying to trade him), Kings draft Cauley-Stein and sign Rondo (to try to make Cousins like them), and now the moody Rondo is paired with the even moodier Cousins and being coached by the grumpy old man, George Karl. Make sense? Of course not, but that's Kings basketball.
The Kings new scapegoat, I mean...coach, George Karl
I have no idea what's going to happen in Sacramento this year. On paper, it looks like the Kings are just bringing in Cousins's friends so that they can all mutiny against George Karl together, or maybe they're just trying to get Karl to quit, or maybe they actually think they've assembled a functional team. I have no idea if George Karl will still be the Kings coach come Christmas, I have no idea how Rondo's going to play this season, I have no idea who's going to throw the first punch when Karl and Ranadive inevitably fight over someone taking the last donut in the conference room, but I do know this: the Kings will be interesting. Buckle up, Kings fans, it's going to be a wild ride.
